After dishing out hits like Kai Po Che! and Shuddh Desi Romance, Sushant Singh Rajput is being billed as the next big thing in Bollywood. He’s on a personal high as well. In a free-wheeling conversation, Singh lets us in about his definition of love, his priceless bond with girlfriend Ankita Lokhande, and why he thinks living together changed the dynamics of their relationship.
Expectations kill relationships
“If staying with someone gives you psychological security, it’s love. Just the idea of being with that person should make you feel loved and sheltered. I don’t think any relationship can survive if one person is more dominating and controlling than the other. If you want to be with someone, you will figure out all possible ways to be with that person. Expectations kill relationships. I believe in investing time, emotions and efforts in a relationship rather than expecting anything out of it.”
Ankita is my true love
“I am very fortunate to have Ankita in my life. It’s been four-and-a-half years since we’ve been together. We met on the sets of the TV show Pavitra Rishta, and hit it off instantly. Since we’d shoot for hours a day, we got used to each other’s presence. It became difficult to handle the distance when I got into films. The best thing about her is that she is honest and transparent. She is not a hypocrite. She never asks or expects. This year, I have been really busy shooting for films and have hardly given her time; but she understands that I am busy and I respect that. There is no space for excuses and explanations in our relationship. I don’t need to give her clarifications on any news article that’s out. I am not an expressive person and it can get difficult to deal with people like me. Yet she somehow manages to figure out what’s disturbing me and that’s the reason we connect so well. Ankita is all the things a man ever dreams of.”
A country full of hypocrites
“I don’t know what a marriage is but I strongly believe in the concept of live-in relationships. They give you an opportunity to know the person you wish to spend your entire life with. Our country is full of hypocrites. They say something and do something completely different. They make live-in relationships seem like a crime. I don’t think living in is any different from marriage. Even in a live-in, you are answerable to each other. Most couples living together manage their finances jointly. The only difference between a marriage and a live-in is that the latter doesn’t demand saat pheras and lifelong promises.” “Ankita and I have been living in for four years. We never planned on having a litmus test and then deciding whether we should get married to each other. It just happened. But it did help us to know each other better. Now, we know that we can tolerate each other’s habits and idiosyncrasies (laughs). We’re sure we wish to spend the rest of our lives with each other.”
Keep the romance alive
“To keep the spark alive in any relationship, it’s important to utilise ‘we’ time well. Whenever I am free, I make sure I spend quality time with Ankita. I share everything with her so that she is always in the loop. She should know and understand what’s happening in my life. Small and simple things like holding hands and having a candid conversation are romantic. Silence can also be romantic.”